Shoes

Only joking.But on the real i dont joke with my shoes. I think the days the ladies hold the record of having most shoes are numbered.I personally can hold my own against any one female or male when in comes to leather on feet or is it vice versa?I guess i have my mom to blame, God bless her (well dont see any reason for blaming her though).

Right from when i can remember i`ve always being seriously shoed up.Any family or friend party coming up,new pairs of shoes,end of term-new pairs of shoes,beginning of term ,new pairs of shoes,xmas u know what,new year ………Not only did i ammass these shoes but God help you if you didnt polish them as at when due.All these stayed with me till now.I  not  only love and  spend oodles on shoes but i take serious care of them.I took it for granted that that was how everyone took care of their shoes but i know different now.I have seen people pay decent amount of money for a pair of shoes then press the back down and converrt said precious shoes to flip flops.Makes me cringe.Such action would have earned you the sternest of looks from my mom in those days and if you were unlucky probably an encounter with the palm.

I know a few guys though whose collection are bigger than mine.And thats saying a lot because heaven knows i do have those things.I found that naija guys generally wear`serious` shoes  than most black people in UK.Forget Spain or Italy there are cool shoes here in London if you know where to look.

God bless Carrie Gorman who is the Editor of thelondonnewspaper-a free London evening newspaper for this piece on shoes.My favourites of the lot is H by Hudson- a  relatively new but impressive British Shoe maker.Goes without saying that its nestling in its box in my house now.

Rip Off Britain

Know how er er infuriating it is when the gas company unduely inflates your bill? To add salt to injury you then need to call them on thier premium rate number to draw their attention to the error.A move that might end up costing you how much you are being over-charged in the first place .What with the `press 1 if this , press 6 if that`.We have all had reason to contact a customers service centre one time or the other . Be it the banks, phone companies or travel companies they are all in the premium number game.

Well it transpires that these companies do have normal lines with local rates. Staffed and equipped to deal with queries.So why have two numbers one premium , the other local ? Just another way to fleece the customers of course.Below is a list of some of companies with 0870 numbers and their local rate alternatives:

Ticketmaster
Premium:08704000700
National:0161 385 3500

Barclaycard
Card Protection Service:0870 0100578
02392 652222

British Airways Helpdesk
Premium:0870 850 4850
National:0191 490 7901
Free Number:0800123111

Let us know if you come across any more of these numbers.

New Year Resolution

Its that time of the year most of us make some kind of resolution or the other.I have resolved this year to live a healthier lifestyle:Join a gym,eat healthy food,drink no single drop of lager. Just Cristal.As if.Stopped smoking over ten years ago so dont have that one to deal with.

So far the resolution is still on track.Well kind of.Joined a gym at the week end so will be going shopping for some decent gym gear this week. Brother got to look good sweating you know.Whatever it is you promised yourself this year give it a real go.See if you can say `I did it` come this time next year.

Inverted Bigotry

Ok i must fess up.(if you can call it that) i do not hate white people.Meaning i date white women -with glee.I know some naija folks here who think its a badge of honour to say they dont date whites or non-Nigerians or people not from their villages,or not their part of the street in their villages bla bla bla you get the pattern? 

I dont see what colour has to do with a little bit of ………..Well, on the real some of us left naija not necessarily because naija was not liveable but for  the quest to see the world beyond our land, see what the world has to offer in every sense of the word. So why would i get here and all a sudden develop the kind of attitudes if white people were to display would qualify them as racist bigots. If she has what i want in a woman and is down damn we riding.Race plays a secondary if any role in who i socialise with.

Anyhow this particular entry came about due to some funny incident last week.There is naija sista i met recently.I went to drop her at her place sometime ago,parked the ride and was looking for a parking meter while she sat in the car.I saw this flash car pulling into  a parking space few yards from the meter with a black guy behind the wheel waving , pointing excitedly,you know naija stlye.Wondered who it was but suspected it must  be someone i knew.He parked , came out and turned out to be a good friend i havent seen for almost 5-6 years . London is like that sometimes.`Hey whats up whats up child bla bla bla`he said.Asked what i was doing in his area.Was shocked he lived there because that was the third time i went to drop that sista off.Told him i was surprised he lived there there  and that i had been there twice before and would have looked him up for sure, so i told him i came to drop off a girlfriend of mine living there to which he replied  `You and your oyinbos. I know you only date white girls`. I said no,she is not white , shes black, naija actually.Told my friend the sista`s street and first name and God he seemed like he just swallowed a golf ball or something.Asked him if he knew her and he said not really.Anyway we exchanged digits and i went back to my car.

Begged her pardon for coming back a bit later than usual and told her about my friend.Transpired that sometime ago they used to meet at their local tube station on the way to work . He asked her out but she turned him down.Tried a couple of times again, no show so  n***ga  gave up.A story my friend confirmed.

That will teach him not to tag people like me with `Oyinbos only labels`.

500 Feared Dead In Lagos

500 people are thought to have died  in Lagos yesterday, while trying to help themsleves to fuel from a vandalized oil pipeline.Sighs. Much as i feel the pain of these people and the loved ones they left behind , time we asked ourselves when are we going to stop chasing a dime while losing a dollar? Fuel is a volatile, highly combustible liquid and to vandalize a pipeline carrying such material or to try to physically collect it the way people do at home is surely a grand exercise in lunacy.

Ok i know some might argue its  easy for me to say this because i live abroad while people in naija have to do whatever to get by.But people have been getting by somehow before this particular pipeline was attacked. Would the few nairas the dead looters would have made from the pilfered fuel make all the difference in their lives ? No!Am talking calculated and weighted risks here.To mess with such a thing as fuel is not only risking your life but the lives of everyone in that vicinity.Not to mention the overall effect on the industry.

The stupendous ignoramuses who masquerade as our leaders share a big part of the blame for the fundamental reason why people are driven to such desperation in the first place. Most are involved in pilfering the thing anyway. Just that they do not have to attack any pipeline or risk their lives in the same way the desperate man in the street would. They just get tanker allocations.Dont ask me how i know, trust me that is how it goes.

You can read more about the tragedy here.

Kanu On Top

Nice to see Nwanko Kanu on top again.He had just a single decent season since he has been in the Premeirship :His first season.I remember a game against Chelsea then.Chelsea were leading by two goals and Kanu scored two to level then added the third winning goal just before the final whistle.Incredible!But he just went down season after season after that,it wont be wrong for one to opine that besides Pascal Cygan(now that mofo is useless) Kanu could be regarded as a waste of funds.Something Arsene Wenger can not always  be accused of.His self -confidence just slided and slided till he  became just a makeweight in the team.Damn n***a lost  four penalty kicks in a row.His move to West Brom didnt do him any good.Not his performance anyway.Misses after misses characterised his outings for the club.There was this one he had just himself and the goal,then he just put the ball over the ball.It was much harder to do  that than scoring.Should have seen the captions in the redtops.One bookmaker lost so much money on the game one read:That Nwanker Cost Me A Fortune.

But Kanu is on top now.Been the leading goal scorer from weeks back.Matter of fact from the start of the season.The way he is playing now i think he could wear that crown come end of the season.The bookies are underestimating him and giving him odds of 37-1 to be the top goal scorer come end of the season.Im not a betting man but if i was, i would put a tenner on the brother.Why not? If only because he is representing.

PS: Trust giddy man.He has asked for a new contract(read more money) from Portsmouth or else he would leave in January.”E san ishu me.I am the top goal scorer!”

Ummm umm.Na so e be o.No jonesing.

Jay-z @37:Marrying Beyonce?

Jigga man aka Shawn Carter  is rumoured to be making an honest woman of Beyonce and giving her that ring this weekend.If you believe the speculators. Jay-z  is turning 37 this weekend and Beyonce is throwing a four day fiesta in some remote Caribbean island. Some people are saying this is not an ordinary party but some ploy to  pull a fast one on the media and have a private wedding.You know what gbeboruns those paparazzis are. Personally i don`t set much stock by the story. Why would Jay  do that.N***a`s  been having his cake and eating it for the past four years so why spoil a good thing. Not hating or something this is sure some marriage that would not survive. Heard that one about Eddie Murphy and Mel B, next we hear Mel is knocked up to high heavens and Murphy is holding another woman`s hands. `How you know that baby is mine uh  uh? DNA is going to decide that “  Eddie tells anybody within a 30 km radius. Dang whats that fool implying by that? That he is certain he wasn`t the only one hitting it while they were together ? Whole LA LAKERS team`s been blazing it up ? Someone`s been very very very naughy. Hell not that i have anything against naughty women though. Matter of fact the naughtier the better. I know some naija women dirty than the dirty south if you know what i mean.But they know how to pretend and keep it on the low low.Umm  folukes and Chinyeres are  going to be on my case now  ! Ha ha.

Got this specially produced feature on Nigeria this summer.The report was  prepared by a consultancy/media outfit based here in London UK and published in The Independent. It makes some interesting and heart-warming reading. Shows what we all know but cant do shizzle about-the fact that given the right direction and people in charge naija can and will hold its own against any other country.I dont want to fall into the trap of celebrating too much though. Why? Because these things should be taken for granted anyway given the resources  naija is blessed with.

www.worldreport-ind.com/nigeria2

Hello world!

Greetings to all my naija folks away from home.This page is for like minded giddy folks to holla and touch base in a way.Im kind of  upfront and lay it way it is so its better minors and pretentious  simpletons keep off the site. if you are cool, know the difference between morality and religion, not obsessed with being babake i.e constantly on a ko si irumi trip then you`ll find this page up your street.